Hollywood stars seem to be dropping like lead balloons in 2009. The latest household name to go was heartthrob Patrick Swayze. (Check out our awesome Swayze tattoo.) While this multi-talented performer could act, sing, and dance (even starting a few embarrassing dance crazes), we’ll always remember him for his ability to rock a kick ass mullet. In honor of Mr. Swayze’s hair, we would like to pay tribute to the all-time great celebrity mullets.
20. Mario Lopez
A.C. Slater could make anything cool, sadly even the mullet. That dimple saves everything.
19. Bono
The mid-‘80s were a great time for U2. They were a young, Irish rock band on the rise, and their lead singer was sporting a Canadian mudflap that was almost as intense as his desire to save the world.
18. John Daly
What can you say about this professional golfer that hasn’t been said before? This fat drunk brought a white trash sensibility to a sport that prides itself on class and tradition. His boldest statement against golf’s snooty establishment may have been his ridiculous haircut.
17. MacGyver
We don’t know this guy’s real name. We just know that he could take a ballpoint pen, a head of lettuce and some aluminum foil and turn them into an explosive device. Unfortunately, he didn’t know how to rig a respectable hairdo.
16. Kanye West
“Yo MacGyver, I’m really happy for you, I’m gonna let you finish. But, I have one of the best mullets of all time! One of the best mullets of all time!”
15. Captain Planet
How popular was the mullet 20 years ago? Even superheroes were wearing them. Okay, not all superheroes wore them, or even good superheroes. It was one superhero, Captain Planet. His mullet was green. Wow, we’d forgotten how much he sucked.
14. Stevie Wonder
Stevie Wonder has never let his lack of sight or lack of hair stop him from concocting some of the most memorable hairstyles in music. His latest can best be described as a hybrid of flowing braids and baldness. We’ll just call it a skullet.
13. Andre Agassi
These days, everyone thinks of Agassi as the bald, grand ambassador to the game of tennis. Twenty years ago, however, he was a flamboyant, heartthrob whose skills on the court could only be matched by his mullety mane.
12. Michael Bolton
If there’s anything about this guy that doesn’t suck, we have yet to find it. If there was a Mount Rushmore of suckiness he would be on it. That is if there was enough room on the mountain to chisel out his curly, flowing locks.
11. Billy Ray Cyrus
This country star had a monster hit in 1992 with “Achy Breaky Heart.” His musical achievements pale in comparison to the impact he’s had in hair history. In addition to giving the world Miley, he also gave us the textbook definition of the Kentucky waterfall.
10. Barry Melrose
It doesn’t matter if this guy is behind the bench or in the ESPN studios. Barry Melrose has defined the term “hockey hair” for over two decades. Of course, you would already know this if anyone watched hockey.
9 Chuck Norris
These days Chuck Norris is known as a crazy, right wing loon who occasionally sells exercise equipment on TV. Back in the day, he spent almost as much time caring for his finely groomed mullet as he did kicking ass. We’ve lost track of how much time he spent kicking ass.
8. Pat Benatar
Pat may have asked us to hit her with our best shot, but she sure never hit herself with a decent haircut. If you want to pay tribute to one of the best “neck warmers” from the ‘80s, Ms. Benatar and her band can now be found performing at an Native American casino near you.
7. Randy Johnson
Randy Johnson is famous for three things:
1. Being tall
2. Striking out hitters
3. Having the gnarliest mullet in the history of professional baseball
6. Florence Henderson
Let’s go ahead and call this the very Brady mullet. Historically, there haven’t been many women who could pull off the mullet. There are even fewer who pulled it off while wearing brightly colored, paisley house dresses.
5. Hulk Hogan
What’s worse? The fact that in his prime Hulk Hogan grew his hair out despite the fact he was as bald as a worn tire up top, or the fact that he’s been doing it for almost 30 years? We’ll go with the latter.
4. Michael Jackson
The early ‘90s were a good time for the King of Pop. He was still alive, still black (kind of) and still musically relevant. He even rocked a great mullet that Corey Feldman has spent years trying to unsuccessfully replicate. Shamone!
3. Jared Dudley
Okay, calling Mr. Dudley a celebrity might be stretching it a bit. Are mediocre pro basketball players considered famous? He still belongs on this list for representing the NBA’s cornrow-mullet contingency.
2. Ronnie James Dio
There was once a time where this heavy metal singer seemed as dark and evil as all the other heavy metal singers. Now he’s just an old guy with a bad haircut who does a wicked good impersonation of Isaac (the bartender) from “The Love Boat.”
1. John Stamos
Sure Rebecca Romijn’s ex might be clean cut now, but when he played Uncle Jesse on the ubiquitously syndicated “Full House” he had the business up front and the party in the back. It could be worse. He could have been Dave Coulier.
Hair! Check out the 10 Most Awesome Mullets In Baseball History and the 10 Worst Hairdos In Rock History.
This list was written by Dave Metrick, a freelance writer and perpetual procrastinator who sometimes writes a blog.
Comments